Adolescent Psychology

We’ve all wondered why adolescents do stupid stuff – and why the stupid stuff they’re willing to do increases as more of them gather together. It’s not our imagination: It’s their psychology.

A psychologist named Laurence Steinberg found that teens take more risks when their peers are watching. In one of his studies, teens played a driving video game while being told their friends were watching from the next room. They ran more yellow lights and crashed more often than when they played alone. Adults, in contrast, drove the same either way. Brain scans showed why: When friends were watching, the reward centers in teens’ brains lit up, making the risk feel more worth taking. 

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Instruction

The psychology that inspires kids to take risks in front of peers is also part of the reason that public correction tends to cause them to blow up. Not only are they trying to publicly save face; they’re also more likely to take the chance of angering you while their friends are present.

With this in mind, here are a few good ways to correct a misbehaving kid without giving them a chance to risk your wrath in front of friends. I’ve seen all of these work: A quiet word at their desk, a quick “cut that out” on a sticky note, “let’s talk in the hall,” or a “can I talk to you after class?”

This isn’t about letting behavior slide. “See me after class” still shows everyone you’re addressing the misbehavior, but it moves the actual conversation somewhere without an audience. (Pro tip: If their friends stay after, too, tell them you want to talk to sweet little Johnny one-on-one.)

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Technology

You know those emails that you don’t need until Friday, but you receive them on Monday? The ones with a key link, schedule, or other essential info that you must have – but you don’t need it today?

Gmail has a way to “snooze” those so they pop up later. They stop cluttering your inbox and reappear when you actually need them.

All you have to do is click a button and choose the date you want it to reappear. The snooze button shows up at the far right when you hover over an email, or at the top when an email is open. It looks like a clock: